Gunston International Freight.
We PROMISE not to take your precious shit and just chuck it over the wharf into the sea.
GUNSTON #1 PROMISE.
We are Gunston International Freight. We are a small family firm of 3 cunts and Aunty Doris.
I am Trevor Gunston and as you can see by the fuckin' awesome photo of me below at the wheel of my trusty sports utility vehicle, I am the CEO of Gunston Domestic Freight Enterprises Incorporated. Fuck me, look at me bloody go!
The other two wankers in the company are Wayne Gunston and Gene Gunston. Fuck knows what they do all day. Probably flog each other off under the table in the office.
Aunty Doris completes the team, she handles the shifty lax arseholes whose payments are in arrears, usually with a stern talking-to followed by Gene-o holding one of their hands under Aunty Doris's trusty Bernina for a bit. That soon sorts the cunts out.
Our Vision
About
Our "Vision" is one that involves the 4 of us Gunstons hoovering up hoary great truckloads of cash while you, the paying customer, sit at home having a leisurely wank in the sun.
No need to pack a massive sook about "my lost sofa" or "my lost platinum birdbath" or "my pencil which hasn't arrived yet, you fuckin' cunts". Everything's being taken care of. Your shitty garbage is on its fuckin' way. Just fucking wait, you impatient cunt! It might take 3 months, 6 months, fucked if I know really, but your Grandma's precious embroidered miniature snot collage is on its fuckin' way! Trust us! Just think of the transit time as extra bonus wanking time. Fuck me, you're a lucky cunt! I wish I had 6 months to sit around having a flog all day! Lucky wanker!
Q: How much would it cost to send my fuckin' dog to the fuckin' Amazonian rainforest?
A: I agree, that dog is a cunt at times. At all times.
Q: What type of insurance does your firm provide?
A: Fuck knows. Does "Dick Insurance" sound real to you?
Q: What is your policy on...
A: Fuck off mate, it's smoko time now.
Company F.A.Q.
