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We here at Gunston International Freight specialize in sending mountains of stupid bollocks around the world. We will hiff your mum in a crate and ship the drunken slag to Bumcrack, Botswana if you fuckin' tell us to. We will chuck your family heirlooms in a cargo hold and watch them float merrily around the Cape of Good Cock if you pay us cash money $$$. In fact, Gene-o will even salute the baubles and doilies and assorted smegs of half-broken bullshit​ as they bobble past if you pay us $$$. We will biff a whole pie onto a plane and send it to​ Dickpackistan if you want. Fuck it! No questions asked. WE ARE THE BEST. THE FUCKING BEST.

Ocean Freight is one of the driest methods of sending your shit on the ocean. You can fit all sorts of rubbish onto a ship. A circus tent. A comically large telephone. A bit of dirt you reckon is fairly special. Some old outdated computer you hardly even want anymore. Even some sheila you're keen on rooting 2 months from now! Box her up Gene-o! Even a clunky old bicycle would fit in a ship no problem. All of that garbage will fit inside a ship. Ships are fat cunts! A bit like Gene-o! But ships have MUCH bigger red cocks protruding out the front than Gene-o haha, look at that dong to the left there.

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Anyway fuck yuz, give us a call at 0800 GUNSTON and once your cheque's cleared we will chuck your treasured bullshit down in the hull next to the frozen monkeys bound for China and the Ebola vials bound for fuck-knows-where! CALL NOW!